Wednesday, June 11, 2014

start to summer

It's coming down to the wire. In so many ways I want to stop time and in so many ways I want to skip time. We are closing a chapter in our book and life will never be the same. I have reflected on the transition so much and we are both so excited to grow our family and to focus our efforts on that. It is interesting that when you don't have any kids and you are married, naturally that is the next question everyone seems to ask about. Although a personal question, when I talk to friends that want to be pregnant but are waiting to finish school or do other things, I always try and wipe any guilt away and give them a big smile. There are so many ways that Calv and I have been preparing for our family in the last couple years. Just because we didn't have children here physically, doesn't mean it wasn't on the forefront of our priorities and preparations...and I think that's the most important thing. We were always preparing. No one can judge anyone's circumstances in life, but for me it has been special to dream and plan for such a monumental and eternal change. We are so very excited.

With that being said, I am excited to not be pregnant anymore. My mom says they're easier inside than outside (halfway kidding halfway not), but my pregnancy has been pretty rough in many ways. I've tried not to complain too much, but have been honest with people about the uncomfortable parts. It's life and I've gotten a lot of support through talking about it.

It's been hard not to be able to exercise as it has been my 'go to' option for stress relief and pretty much everything else. I have surprised myself a bit by not being too strict with food and just taking this time easy and doing it as best I can without feeling guilty.

Baby girl is shifting and rolling around. It's been fun to watch. I have a million of 10 second videos on my phone when my tummy is morphing. Crazy! I'm continuing with the finishing touches on the nursery and still doing some necessary organization around the house. She will be here so soon.

I am a very private person in a lot of ways. I have my opinions about what I would like as far as birth plan, breastfeeding and the millions of other things to think about, but know being flexible will be the best. Opinions are great from friends and family, but I've also gotten a lot of great encouragement to do things how I feel comfortable and in my own way. I know I will mess up and I know I won't be perfect, but it will just be me, calv and baby learning together.

Calvin and I toured the hospital last night. It was fun. I was the farthest along and secretly thought it would be hilarious if I went into labor in front of all the other couples. We have decided that it will be just Calv and I at the hospital during the birth. My mom is coming down to help with baby which is so nice. I am a private person and will prefer to not have any visitors in the hospital or anything. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way, but at the same time it is what feels the most comfortable for me.

I'm still about 2 weeks away but have been up for the last several nights with contractions and those great feeling electrical sharp pains. I don't believe I will deliver early as this is my first but preparation is key!!

Calv and I walked out of the hospital last night to a beautiful sky and felt so overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessings we share. Life isn't always perfect, but I feel so happy to learn, experience and grow every day.

...and my oh my am I so excited that it is summer!!!