Wednesday, July 13, 2011

suddenly i see.


It's really been a while since i wrote my feelings in words instead of just pictures. Also, i think i put your name in front of my blog posts because my thoughts just flow so much easier when i'm writing to you. I guess that's why i write about all the feelings i have (angry, annoyed, happy, thankful, laughy...etc). When i read others' blogs i really do, maybe i'm depressing to people because i write about food i can't eat cause i'm on a diet, or trucks that don't know how to stay in their own lane on the freeway..but as i kept thinking it's really cause i'm writing about everything that's flowing in my brain and ..darn...i guess they're not always those happy thoughts lol.

Well NC. It's been a hit to say the least. 2 days in a row i didn't feel like going on a run ...but i did. I haven't missed a day this summer, except some saturdays and all sundays. other than that i'm sweatin' in this humidity (still better than provo snow so no i'm not complaining). It stinks when you are on a equals social outcast and you feel like there's 20 pounds of other's guilt weight put on you to come down to their level meaning ice cream, candy, pizza, all the things that i love. (this repeats like 7 times a day)..except when you know...the whole diet thing is on. and man it is on like donkey kong. first time in my life that i have really stuck with it. go me. go me.

We will be back in Provo here in about a month so we are looking for housing. It's like you either pay for a dump or you pay for an overpriced nice place...i mean where's the married middle class in provo these days? come on..i don't want to be locked in a basement dungeon my last year but i also don't want to be totally broke..i should open up a good middle class newer large complex (good idea ..but nope, got to get out of their asap ha) ....It's great that kristen is living with us in fall so she can earn some money to pursue her musical talents. awesome! she's too good at being her. I am running a 5k on friday...we'll see how that goal is under 25 minutes. i know that i will look like a tomato being soaked in water..oh on that note...i haven't decided if i think i'm uglier here in nc or if it's just that i put no effort in getting ready because if i do...i won't want to ruin my hair or make up and have an excuse to not go for a run...not get ready-- who cares! oh if you want to eat healthier and monitor your weight (it stinks) the app myfitnesspal what it is best pal. great app.

Well i love my family. i miss them so much. i feel like i'm missing their most important growing up years. but if you look at the big picture and think about all the relationships in your life, we can all do a lot better. we can be more interested in the changes and good news of close ones and also say more prayers for those going through hard times. we all have those you know. i guess what i'm saying is that i can't sit here and complain about how much i miss them if i haven't made the effort to call them today or write them a letter know write on their facebook wink wink kid kid LAME LAME!! oh wow.

Calv and I are still bff's like always. dang i'm lucky. he's so funny, i just don't get it how someone can be so happy and have it be so effortless. i can laugh and laugh and laugh {sometimes at church too...whoops} i have a good life.

see? cool.

now...even cooler..

some things that just are:

1. facebook generation: i'm taking pictures because it's the fourth of july...not it's the fourth of july, so i'll take pictures. sick. and backwards...

2. just went through my 'garbage can' and edited my friends...if you are reading this then you made it!! congratulations!..." um.thanks? i hope you make mine too.

3. i know i'm such a quote gal...but this is just so funny "a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand" {barbara johnson}...this is so true if you think about it?? ok don't but i love that.

3.5 What's the recipe to not get offended by copy cats? i'm bad at that.

this is how sad i am...i was camping so i had to take a picture of the flash on to see where the m and m's were in the trail mix. um...

4. a quote to help you remember that "you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" {Buddha}...

"Think the best and hope the best and have faith in the future. You have a great life ahead of you. Your Heavenly Father loves you. If any mistakes have been made, they can be repented of and forgiven. You have everything to live for and plan for and believe in. To have the approval of your conscience when you are alone with your memories allows you to feel the Spirit of God in a very personal way. I want you to enjoy that Spirit, to feel that confidence in the presence of the Lord always". {Jeffrey R. Holland}

love for always.court.